Serial Monogomy vs Whorish Relations

Hola Paparazzi People,

Thanks for tuning in. I stole the phrase "Serial Monogomy" from a friend of mine. He used it to describe the fact that one of our mutual friends is either in single homebody mode or he's in a relationship dating hard core on the verge of looking like he's married. Seeing as our mutual friend lands these rock solid relationships that last for a while, we coined him a serial monogomist.

However, in this article the phrase as i'm choosing to refers to people who hop from relationship to relationship and commit sexual acts right off the bat and just because they're are in a "relationship" this is considered (by many) to be ok. If you disagree by all means comment on it, but know you know someone or known someone who's doing it and you know someone who's thinks its ok to do. (add up ya someones and mulitply it by the population of your city and see what you get)

On the other you have folks who do the same type of risque behavior but because they don't claim the "relationship" they are talked about in harsher manner. It almost seems as if the illusion of beingin a relationship trumphs being honest about what you are and what you do.

Personally, i've lived and witnessed people who operated on both sides of this equation and will take that stance as devils advocate. What do you think people, does having the title give you the moral high ground or will over all logic dictate you think differently...

(Submitted by me, 2009)
Read more

What kind of Relationship Do You Really Want??

In response to a previous blog, "Can we be more than friends? Why the Phuck Not?", we've recieved some serious feedback on what seems to be a very hot topic. Instead hashing it out behind the scenes in the comment section, we've put it front and center... Whats your take on this point of view?

I was the girl that heard "I do not want to be in a relationship right now" and ignored it. However, I ignored it because of the huge amounts of time we spent getting to know each other and the intimate conversations we were having (nothing physical or sexual guys.) It was as if we were building a relationship and when it got serious enough for me to bring up the talk again -- Where is this going? he would bring back the "but I told you I didn't want a relationship."

Here's what I learned from it. When a man says he does not want to be in a relationship, women don't fool yourselves just keep it moving. There are so many other men out there who are willing to make a commitment to you, just keep it moving. If his situation changes and you want to give him the time of day again go ahead but I have learned that where some women go back on their word, men don't and what they say is usually what they mean. Don't stick around because you think eventually he will realize what a good catch you are and change his mind. Bad idea-- Because in the end you will only be hurting you.

As for men, understand women a little more. Women are emotional beings and if you say you do not want to be in a relationship yet you do more than friends know: start calling her honey, sweetheart, boo etc or talk to her into the wee hours of the morning...The signals you are sending to her reads that you want more. The more time you spend with her, the more she likes you thus the more she believes the situation might change.

What amazes me is that a man can tell when a woman is interested in him (more than a friendship) and you know you don't want anything else yet still embraces all that she does. Just because you said at the beginning that you were not ready for a relationship does not mean that you never have to have that talk again. I think men also have a duty to not accept gifts, don't go out on those dinner dates she sets up, don't go out to the movies etc..etc....And I am only talking about a situation where it is obvious that a woman clearly wants more and the man does not. If that is the case, yes I am saying don't hang out with her as much. Eventually then she will move on. I didn't want to mention this but don't state your point up front yet lead her on after. And leading her on is accepting everything she gives and always having these one on one dates
Read more
0's next event


Stay tuned for the details on the premiere party. Early RSVP'ing is suggested. RSVP @

Read more

Black face pastries: 'Drunken "N-word" Cookies' (file this one under: WTF!!)

"Drunken Negro Face" Cookies On Sale at Greenwich Village Bakery. Article posted on The Gothamist by John Del Signore in

At at a time when any decent baker should have been selling racially harmonious black and white cookies by the truckload, one Greenwich Village bakery popular with celebrities and shows like Sex and the City has outraged neighbors by selling a "Drunken Negro Face" cookie in, um, "honor" of President Obama. [Video below.] A shocked customer tells My Fox NY that Ted Kefalinos, proprietor of Lafayette French Pastry, asked her, "Would you like some drunken negro heads to go with your coffee? They're in honor of our new president. He's following in the same path of Abraham Lincoln; he will get his."

Later, her friend stopped by the bakery and said Kefalinos corrected her about the name of the cookies—they're actually drunken "N-word" cookies. She says the backwards baker then repeated the dark suggestion that, like Lincoln, President Obama "will get what's coming to him." Go Secret Service, go!

And it gets worse when Fox's Arnold Diaz goes into the store with a camera and microphone to confront Kefalinos, who suddenly makes Joe the Plumber look like a Rhodes scholar. "I called them Drunken Negro Heads. What's the problem with that?" Kefalinos asks the newscaster with a smirk. "On Inauguration Day I thought it would be cool to change the name to Obama Heads. I just changed it for the day." We suppose Burning Cross Bananas Foster was too complicated to mass-produce.

Kefalinos denies intimating that Obama would be assassinated, and insists that the cookie is "not unflattering. I think it's a fun face... And anyone who says anything else should be ashamed of themselves." Besides, nobody got upset about the "Dead Geese Bread" he sold after the recent Hudson River plane crash. (We're NOT making that up.) Also, Kefalinos insists he can't be racist because, for one thing, "my brother-in-law, he's Cuban." Below, behold the breathtaking train wreck of racist ignorance.

UPDATE: We just spoke with Kefalinos on the phone and he remains utterly oblivious, telling us, "This whole thing was blown out of proportion." He says he's sold out of the "Drunken Negro Cakes" and doesn't plan to make anymore, despite the fact that many customers have been requesting them (he claims). When asked whether he understands that most African-Americans find the word "negro" offensive, Kefalinos explains, "It's a French word. It comes from the French."

Community Board 2 was quick to call for a boycott of Lafayette French Pastry, to which Kefalinos responds, "I'm sorry they feel that way because I was trying to do a nice thing." Not seeming to grasp in any way the degree of outrage he's sparked, he added, "I did it and that's the end of it and it's over."
UPDATE 1/24: Now Ted Kefalinos apologizes: "Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, it was an innocent design I created. It was nothing more than just a piece of art."
(you can list your name, be anonymous, or create a fictious name)
Read more

Freetime - Groove Theory - Exo (1.29.2009)

Read more

6 Sex Mistakes Yo Dumb Ass Keep Making

In between facebooking & web surfering last night I came across a Men's Health Magazine article (by Author not sited) titled;

"6 Sex Mistakes You're Making"

1. Sex is a RaceBreak it: Explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina, and don't cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Different Loving. You'll ignite her nerve endings and bring her close to her red zone. It makes sex about discovery, not some destination. "Goal-oriented sex isn't sexy," Brame says.

2. Same Time, Same PlaceBreak it: Relive the past. Take her to the garage and reclaim the space you long ago ceded: Seduce her in the backseat of the car. It feels a little public, it's steeped in testosterone, and there's a throwback, high-school quality to it. Make it a quickie, which has its place in the sexual diet; having lots of sex begets more sex, because you stay connected, says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago.

3. Predictable ForeplayBreak it: Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. "She'll feel the sex is about her and not some random need she has to accommodate," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at Washington University. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.

To read the entire article click here

You do know you don't have to comment as yourself, you can do anonymous or enter any name you want!
Read more

Ladies: Do you, Enable or Disable?

After having a conversation with a friend of mine last night, I began to think. She was complaining about the men in her life she "chooses" to deal with. She was saying how they keep doing the same things, expecting something from nothing, and etc. Now, most women at some point have dealt with shortcomings from men; I know I have.

My question is, WHY are we still blaming the men?? Is it not our free will to stay in a failed or failing relationship? My thing is, don't be upset with the man for doing exactly what he's been doing. If he is continually using the best parts of you and giving you no kind of reciprocity, you have all of the free will earthly possible to DISABLE him. The problem I have found is that us women enable some of these men to continue their half attempts of the relationship. With each failed promise, hurt feelings, and broken heart, we hope that the results will be different next time. Exactly how many times will it take for you to realize that the next time will likely produce the same results?!

I had a conversation with my male cousin. He stated that he felt lied to when a woman wants to change the status of the relationship. Basically, if you start the relationship as casual, then you have no right to try to up the stakes. Of course, I totally disagreed with him. Nine times out of ten, the woman will start developing stronger feelings before the man. Since women act more off of emotion we can become confused even though its been said. Even when the man says they don't want a relationship, but treats us like we are in a relationship, we start thinking that he may really want a relationship. The truth is, he may be just a good dude who knows how to treat women but he's just not ready for a relationship.

However, when that happens, it forces you to re-evaluate the direction of the relationship. At that moment, it is up to you to decide one of the following 1) allow the relationship to continue in hopes he will have a change of heart or 2)acknowledge that what you want and what he want are two different things and it may be best to go your respected ways.

Sidenote: Just because a man isn't ready to be in a relationship when you are does NOT make him a bad guy. Just not THAT guy.

Most women choose option 1 and though there is a chance for it to work, there is a chance it won't. You are enabling him to continue the kind of relationship he wants and ignoring what you really want. (We are such hopeful and patient creatures) Eventually, you will become upset with him for not wanting to progress when he already told you he wasn't ready. You can't be upset with the man when you enabled him in the situation. You have to be upset with yourself for staying and not looking out for your star player (shot out to Katt Williams). Anway, these are just a few of my thoughts/ramblings and I would love to hear yours.There are so many sub-topics of this note that are yet to be explored.....

(Author: V. R. 2009)

Read more

Can we be more than friends? Why the Phuck Not?

Dear B. Free,

It just amazes me that people think they can come into ur life as friends and because their feelings change, yours should change as well. What i'm noticing is that the phrase, "I am not looking to get into a relationship at this time" apparently does not mean "I am not trying to get into a relationship at this time" anymore. Apparently it means, "If you hang around long enough, hopefully your will change and then we can be together!

Furthermore; when I remind you, that we agreed to "just be friends", you cant deal with it, and i'm asshole and a dog (or a Ho, Bitch and so on). Next thing you know all men are dogs and users and all women are Hoes & Bitches.

You every think it could it be something as simple as that person isn't ready for whatever reason to enter into a relationship with you as it may effect that same relationship you are trying to cultivate? People, please, please becareful what you ask for. You just might get it!

Have you ever experience this? What is your take on it?

Dazed & Confused in the Lou,

Read more

Groupies: The Discussion Continues...

The Background: I was conducting a status experiement titled, " No, I dont't have groupies!! What are the requirements for one to earn a groupie following." After entertaining a fewer responses I recieved this via email....

Mr. B. Free,

Allow me to reintroduce mahself to you.. I am Ms. N. thats done...i am totally empathizing with you and your situation...accept it as "positive"'s not you at all..its us women...apparently, you are pertubed by your are alot of men who would LOVE to be in your

Seriously...i think that youre feeling a lil off balance..but on the contrary...the women on facebook (myself, you...and you need them...your personality seems to be that of one who appreciates and admires sistsas...regardless of shape or a result...the women gravitate to the attention (that is just "natural" to you) that you give like the energy..and you're dont wanna bang 'em out...just "break bread"...but a lot of sistas who are experiencing emotional dysfunction and are in your space..are misinterpreting that "attention" as: "oh yeah, he tryna be wit me"..or.."oh yeah, he tryna fuck"...and the more you reject them..the more desperate their acts of conquering "B. Free" and/or "B. Free's Penis" there main goal..let me know if i'm way off base luv...1

Hmmmmm, is she really off base? Do both sexes experiences this? What are your thought?
Read more

Pictures from Freetime's "Raising the Bar" Event!

Pictures from Freetime's "Raising the Bar" up in the paparazzi gallery!

Click here to see the pix

Click here to see the pix

Email: if you want to order prints of your pictures!!

Read more