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"Most people are fascinated by outward success—their social position, financial gain, power, or, in a word, their image in the eyes of others. If their outward image is, for any reason, shaken, they are inevitably shaken and may even collapse. They lack fortitude because they are neither true to themselves nor honest with others. To them the end always justifies the means." (Anawar Sadat)
“Born and raised in U. City but got grown in J-Town…” a memorable quote from Quor 03 member and UCME Entertainment recording artist Potzee. This hongree rapper has a catalog of music longer than the only checkout line open at Aldi on a Saturday morning. Potzee aka Potz Spifwell has been making tasteful songs like “Good Evening” and “Dat Girl” for years and they are classic favorites. He even filmed an excellent music video co-starring the entire city of St. Louis damn near for “Dat Girl”. Now Potzee has teamed up with Swagga Magazine to present the colors of the “STL Patriot” mixtape... Read More
The Marcus Graham Chronicles is my personal journey of dealing with love and relationships. It is called the Marcus Graham Chronicles because of my affinity for the movie Boomerang and how the main character of Marcus Graham relates to me as the "black professional" man. You can check out previous posts in this series here.
In this evolution and journey to cure this condition that I have coined the Marcus Graham Condition. There is a moment in Boomerang where Marcus Graham has to sit with himself and face all the of the ills of the world he has put on women in his past. Though this will be no where as deep of a process as Marcus had. This below I have decided is one of the best ways to move forward and become a better man you have to acknowledge some of the ill will you have done in the past. This is my attempt at purging my soul to the women of my past...
Dear __________,
I finally answered the questions to get my Relationship Credit Score, as reluctant as I was to do it (and yeah, yeah, I wrote it). My score wasn't too surprising - not low, but not the best it could have been. It indicated areas in my life I needed to work on. I'm not stupid, I know you probably could give two shits about this letter. But hell, I've been doing a lot of soul searching and its time to let sleeping dogs lie (or put them totally to sleep) if I'm going to continue my quest to be come a better man.
I have a lot I need to work on and things I have to take ownership of. Things I did wrong. It’s real easy to justify the fucked up shit you do in life, especially when you come up with lame and unsubstantial reasons for doing the dirt. I know I could have done things better in the relationship. I'd make bad decisions and claim "The Onus Was Not on Me" . It's funny how we can go through our whole lives and blame others for our woes in life without taking any ownership for what we do. I blamed you for my relationship woes, shrugged my shoulders and chalked it up as part of "the game".
I had to sit back and really dissect my part in our break-up... I may have given up to soon on our relationship... or maybe I didn't give up soon enough. Maybe I strung it out just because of an "internal fear of loss". Maybe I needed to have heeded the words Bishop Don Juan gave to me when it comes to love. Maybe I should have held on too you longer and put more of myself into our relationship. Perhaps I should have let you go, knowing I wasn't totally into the relationship. I could have been a little more caring. I could have been a bit more forthright. I could have been a bit more patient and more understanding. I could have been a a lot less Marcus Graham. But, we both know playing the "What IF Game" will get me you nowhere ( Shit, if IF was a spliff we all would be high). The past is the past. Hindsight is always easier to see NOW, especially when we needed it THEN.
I'd advise you not to take much offense, but I have to say...you're crazy as cat shit. Yeah, I said it. You.are. crazy.as.cat.shit. But, I know I played my part in your developed insanity. On the flip-side, that would mean I was somewhat crazy for being with you. They say like-minded people are attracted to each other, right? Considering all the crazy things you said and did) I'll be honest and admit... I may have induced some of that craziness. Hell, when you're in love you do stupid crazy things. We both surely did our share. Maybe you more than me but hey, perception is everything. You probably thought I was the crazy one. There were a lot of things you did to me that never sat well with me then (and still don't now) but this letter will address my choices, not yours. You've probably read many of my editions of The Marcus Graham Chronicles . I figure you either laugh or grimace at them because you already know that I'm a jackass. The thing is, while you may have ill-will towards me, talk shit about me, or maybe even hate me... I don't feel that way about you! It’s cool, and I understand you need to do what takes for you to move forward in life. Maybe you're not cool with me and give me a "side-eye" every now and again - that's okay, too. I can accept how you feel about me as long as you're happy. When we're with someone (or breaking up with them) people like to say..."You'll never find someone who will treat you like I did". That may be true, but maybe there's someone who can treat you better than I did... and I accept that.
You were there for me in ways words can't even begin to describe. This, I cannot deny. I will always be in debt to you. Despite (and maybe because of) all the ups and downs we put each other through, I truly am happy and grateful you came into my life.... even though we're may not meant to be. I appreciate you for everything you taught me about myself, the world, and for making me better for future relationships. Because really, "I want you happy even if it's not with me." -Mason Betha (aka Mase)
What would you say if i told you to, "lower your expectations"? You'd probably look at me as if I passed gas in a crowded elevator! To be honest, that's the look I had on my face as read the two page section from the book "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff at Work".... The idea of someone telling me to lower my expectations just seems obsurd.
When I continued to read I realized how much sense it made. Why would we assume that in life everyone we meet, date, work or interact with will give us 100% of what we expect 100% of the time? Now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying to go around expecting the worse from everyone, rather to accept that fact that you will meet people who aren't what or who you expect them to be. Be it the non communicating boy friend/girl friend, the "do the bare minimum" co-worker, or better yet the customer service rep who hates everything about customer service. We will meet them all, over and over again through out the course of our lifetime and yet we don't adjust our thinking to account for it.
We're all human and the sooner we realize that the bumps in the road are simply a part of the commute. The faster make the adjustment for these bumps, more enjoyable the ride will be. LEAVE A COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK?
It's Christmas time in the city, the parties are happening in every cornerpocket of your local metropolis! Your job? To be a FASHIONIZER.Make no mistake about it, though the holiday spirit prevails, it's backdrop will be an unofficial fashion show coming to a Christmas or NYE party near you. This is the perfect season and occasions to showcase your trusted friend "The Little Black Dress" as it promises to invoke sounds such as "oohh" and "ahhhh" from the mouths of onlookers. In this post, the LBD(Little Black Dress) steps outside of its box and embraces trend. A traditional LBD should be wearable for years and many occasions but this season I'm aiming to motivate you towards the more risque. Below you will find a variety of Ready to Wear, on trend options for the High End Shopper as well as the Budget Savvy Buyer. As much as we love our LBD's, the right accessories can determine just how deeply we can make OTHERS fall in love. Want to know how to accessorize your LBD? Checkout What to Wear With your Little Black Dress .
2. Brand New (Music by B. Rice and S. Jones, Lyrics by B. Rice for Making My Music Publishing, BMI) …“This song was originally a concept taken from one of our favorite instrumentals to play. Shontez and I were rehearsing and came up with a new sound to our old standard. When I began writing lyrics, the dark quality of the sound gave me an image of an anti-hero preparing to save the only thing he really cared about…”
3. Hello Venus (Music and Lyrics by B. Rice for Kognate Music Publishing, BMI) “…this is a song that I feel is an accomplishment in my growth as a lyricist. It captures the moment that I have felt inspired by music and women who perform it, and the surreal imagery you see in the sounds. Also, it’s really a song that came to me after I realized I had a huge crush on one of the most unlikely female artists, and she totally doesn’t pay me any attention…”
4. Coming To an End (Music by B. Rice and S. Jones, Lyrics by B. Rice for Making My Music Publishing, BMI) …“I started this song by myself from a random melodic progression that just wouldn’t leave my head, which is how it normally starts. After I brought this song to the group, ‘cause I couldn’t finish it, it took on an entirely different feel. Shontez was practicing a lot of Latin rhythms that week, and couldn’t wait to get it in a song. This groove is crazy when we play it live.”
5. Just To Us ¤ (Music and Lyrics by B. Rice for Kognate Music Publishing, BMI) “…this is 100% true, I wrote this song after being caught in a very elaborate lie, which ended up getting me so stressed that I couldn’t eat, which is an amazing feat, cause I can ALWAYS eat, but this day tore me up. The result, I had to write in hopes that someone would hear, ‘cause the girl I had just pissed off, wasn’t having it…”
That is what one study suggests. I was recently sent an article by a friend published on Psychology Today about black women being invisible. Hmmm, I know you're thinking, exactly what do they mean? The study noted in the article suggests that black women are often overlooked physically in public and their comments often go unheard or brushed off in social settings. There were two parts to the study. One part was a facial recognition of sorts and the other was a recall of comments made during a discussion.
I go any further, I want to say that I reached my own conclusion before I even finished reading the article. The very last class I took before graduating with my BA in Psychology was a class, more like a seminar on African-Americans. I remember the professor mentioning at the beginning of the course how women in general, but especially black women are often left out of or not used in research studies. One would argue, it is because how research is. I work in research. People feel that there may be some motives that aren't clear, but no research is clear nor would it be dependent if everything was known up front of what would be studied. It creates this bias which could have a serious effect on results. The other reason for not enough blacks in studies in general, is because a lot of research studies that involve studying the black population simply do not get funded. My professor wanted to do a study about stress and it's effects on the heart of black people. Our stressors are different. Our heart rates escalate when we walk into a mall for fear of being watched or followed because we may steal or when we are in class or work and we are the only Sistas Representin' (SRs) in the room. So, no wonder we may get overlooked in social studies because no other race besides our own wants to acknowledge us!
If you are a true fan of the Hip Hop scene in St. Louis then you should be familiar with the Lord of the STL Underground scene, Ajuleaka Ju the Czar. A well known battle rapper during the golden era of theHi-Pointe Café Monday Night open mic sessions, Ajule quickly gained popularityand respect from spectators and fellow emcees. Ju the Czar, Mr. Zoom In orwhatever alias the public may know him better as, releases his new mixtape “Kings& Pawns Volume 1: Memoirs of a Drug Lord”, which is truly a blessing to HipHop. The mixtape is hosted by ICU and features production from Mike Will MadeIt, Band Camp, Sag and Sineca... Read More
